I have a new-found respect for parenting. Especially for stay-at-home mums. I now know from experience that parenting is an almost completely altruistic behaviour. I'll put my zoologist hat on for a second and say that, evolutionarily, a mother devoting herself completely to raising her children gives them (and her genes) the best chance of surving and reproducing. It's termed kin-selected altruism. And when I say that it's altruism, I mean that the benefit for the offspring comes at a cost to the parent. I'm finding that the biggest cost is my intellectual stimulation. I'm spending too much time at home - picking up toys, knowing what's on daytime telly at any given hour, eating biscuits. I need to get out of the house more and I especially need some input to process and turn into creative thought. But does anyone know of any family adventures that have stimulation for mums too?
I think it's a real shame that most kids' activities only challenge the parents in so much as they are logistically difficult. Any mother out there will know: it starts with getting kids into the car - for me it involves carrying one down the stairs and putting him in the car, then trudging back up to get the other, along with all the stuff kids need; then there are the difficulties of driving with a screaming baby in the back. And I won't even go into the dramas mums face when we're single-parenting out and about (espcially with a bored toddler) because most of you will know, and because whinging isn't very fun to do, nor to read.
So what can we do that is stimulating for mums and not come at a cost to the kids? Any parental brain activity gained from a museum or art gallery is outgunned by the weaponry of a bored child. It's just not worth it. So the answer must lie in an activity that has something for parents and their young children. People looking for new business enterprises out there - I think you'll make a fortune if you offer a solution to this conundrum. I have a feeling that it's the Holy Grail though, and the only feasible solution is for mums to call in support. And who has the same genetic benefit in ensuring the kids' go forth into a well-adjusted adulthood? Dads. Honey ...?
If you can manage it you should come up to me on either the second or fourth Wednesday of the month. The Women's Room mothers group is still up and running. There are loads of new mums with little ones the same age as yours coming along and its just the thing for a bit of mental stimulation or at the very least emotional stimulation. Its completely geared towards mothers and tapping into their needs.
ReplyDeleteAs well as that there is the art/craft activity for the mothers. I always felt a huge bit better for doing it. You could have lunch with me and put Braden to sleep at mine.
Just a thought....
I do love reading your posts. You are not the only one that feels that way. It really is a matter of putting aside the thought of going out and actually just go out. I do the same thing-I think too much!
ReplyDeleteHave you met anyone local that you can go and have a cuppa with? Sometimes just a chat helps.
Go visit Monique. You will be very glad that you did.
It does get better as they get more independent but until then leave the toys on the floor sometimes and get out and about.
Love Kylie