I read an article in this weekend's Sun Herald magazine, entitled 'the invisible men' and it's given me food for thought. I couldn't post a link so I'll have to summarise: the article claims many men feel overworked and underappreciated. They'd like some recognition for what they do around the house, particularly as they feel 'hurried and harried', rushing from the school drop-off to a breakfast meeting, a busy day, then dashing home for baby's bath time, another night of broken sleep, etc, etc, etc. The article says, self-preservation is stopping the men from complaining - they say why bother when women are so quick to jump down their throats with "You weren't pregnant. You haven't breastfed for five months. I haven't slept for four years". So the men say they're just suffering in silence. All they'd like, the article claims, is some 'rightful recognition for their efforts' (which they say their hard-working female partners are receiving).My first reaction to this article was a little like the one men are receiving when they complain: I felt my back arching and I wanted to rant about "oh, the poor men, it's so hard being able to go to work and listen to an adult channel on the radio, buy coffee, have an adult conversation, think about something other than nappies and grocery lists". Then I stopped for a breath, because I suppose this reaction is exactly what the men are talking about.
Reading further, the article pointed out a statistic that surprised me: in a 2006 ABS survey, men and women spent almost exactly the same number of hours a day performing professional, childcare and domestic tasks. That average was 11.44 hrs for men and 11.35 hrs for women. Now I know that neither my husband nor my day allows 12 hours of downtime, so this statistic must be skewed by men and women with older (or no) children. But I hear the message: obviously we're all feeling the pressure of modern life and it's leaving little room for words of thanks in either direction.
Whilst most female partners are probably not feeling very recognised for all the hard work they do at home, particularly with no boss to commend them on great work, we probably don't think about our menfolk suffering too. Sure there are articles in the media about how hard it is for modern women to juggle everything and very few articles on the plight of the poor neglected male, but I don't think the media coverage actually reaches anyone personally, and it certainly doesn't make the load any lighter. So yes, perhaps it's time to acknowledge that many men are contributing massively to raising kids and running a household, especially compared to previous generations of fathers. I don't know that the recognition is going to lighten the load, but at least it might make them whistle while they work a little (because the other thing that makes them chirpy is short on supply these days too).
I read this article too. Tools often talks about working two jobs. I think it's a wonderful choice that our men are making. He loves to stand around with like-minded menfolk and talk about the drudgery of their days without the cynical wives in the background commenting about equality.
ReplyDeleteI think its good to let them have their moments to shine because by golly they are lifting the bar for our sons. Won't it be wonderful to see them being dads and husbands with their own fathers as role models.